CU7 
■ HP 




11 III III! 

013 785 701 7^ 



MAIIiICO PO*r PAW OH iKKCBiFT OT 



E 567 
.1199 
Copy 1 



^4 



M: Y POLICY;" 



on. 




THE NEW GOSPEL OF PEACE 



I»K.ICE TJEIN OEIVTS 



PHILADELPHIA: 

UBA&T, JR./ KO. 8^ lOUTH WHABYEl. 

■ 1866. 




BSTBBSD ▲OCOBDOfO TO ACT OF COS 




>1 . \Ji, 



d- 



M: Y POLICY;" 



oia. 



THE NEW GOSPEL OP . PEACB, 



ACCORDING TO 

ST ANDY, THE APOSTATE. 



B»>^ . y m i^y . '<i ^ 



PITTSBURGH; 

Mn P. Hunt & Co., 59 Fifth St., Masoftic Hatt, 



:\ 






MY POLICY. 



CHAPTEE I. 

1. Now, the birth of Saint Andy was in this wise : 
The Devil begat Burr, Bnrr begat Calhonn, Calhoun 
begat Davis, Davis begat Booth, and Booth" begat St. 

•Andy the Apostate. 

2. Behold the lord of the lash appeared unto Andy 
in a dream, saying, ''thou shalt get thee up from thy 
abolition slumbers and gird on thy armor, for thou 
shalt be our too], and ve will make thee ruler over 
Israel." 

3. Thou shalt be called Moses, and by thy exceed- 
ing ability thou shalt lead the children of Israel back- 
ward through the Red Sea , of their own blood in- 
to the land of Egypt* and the house of bondage. 

4. Now all this was said that it might be fulfilled 
which was spoken by the mouth of the prophet, say- 
ing: "Behold I will call the roll of my slaves, from 
the top of the great White House, and they shall an- 
swer by a pow-wow, in a wigwam at the sea shore." 

5. Now, Andy being raised from sleep by a Gin 
Cock Tail, went and did as the lord of 'the lash had 
commanded him, and he knew no more the ways 
of righteousness. And the dagger of the assas- 



made a nev^r President, and he called Us name 

CHAPTEE II. 

1. In those days came John the Both, fhe was called 
Both,) because he was both man and'^yU, and he 
Potomac. "" ^''''^ °^ ^"''''''' ^y '^'' l^^^ts of the 

nef; athS'."'^"°' ^"' '"' ''"' ^^"^dom of Jeff, is 

3. For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet 
Abraham, saymg, 'il ..odd i^ather bo aLsina^teTon- 

^ 0. liien coii.^.., I ;,: ^iixjui- iioiii le'i^iess'^e to Wash 
iofl°"' ■? '^,';.;'j''P'j'^ed of hint, a..jd Booth said, "I am 

"MySv.- ' " ^''''^' "'' "'^'* ^' ^''' f°^ '^^' ^ 
and rt"V"' '^^f^^^^^, 1^^'^ in 'he name, of Abraham, 
dom '^?'f ?-^^'^ If "i ^°^f^ and a voice from Eebel^ 
tT, '%' ■•; l.'^'°®.' ^^'^"^ • ^"^^^e will have peace,- ■ 

7. And Moses said, -Yes, we will have peace : And 

He issued a declamation, and immediately, the cry of 

muraor oegan to be heard in the land ; and Moses said, 

i^is.en, i told you we,woul3 have peace ! " 

6 Aiureverj man wJio had committed mui'der, he 

Tto^H- f \V^'''^' "".r^" loyal Mnan dare come 

OHAKTEJl III. 

1. Now it came to pass that Moses was more sober 
1.11 he ever had been before. 



2. And lie said I will make a gi oat lamentation i 
tlie land of Israel. I will pnll my hair and fear m, 
©lose fit, and make treason odious. 

3 But presently Moses grew too big for his clo^ 
fit, and the lord of the lash took him into an exceed- 
inky black temple of the southern chiy airy and the 
lord of the lash spake unto Moses, saying, ''All these 
will I give thee if thou will lead them back into 
Egypt. 

4. Kow Moses remembered how his father-in-law- 
had a colored temple, and he said, I was a tailor and 
made a close fit. 

5. And Moses said it is written, " Man shall not live 
by tailoring alone, but he shall have an ofiice once and 
a while." Therefore, he said unto the lord of the lash, 
Thou art my god, and if thou wilt make " My Policy " 
President, I will be your Moses to lead the children 
of Israel backward through the Bed Sea of their own 
blood into bondage. ^ 

6. Now, the lord of the lash spoke again unto Moses, 
saying. Behold thou art a tailor and art slow of good 
speech, but I will make Doolittle and Eamond s;:eak for 
thee, and I Avill make them bawl as y^uiig calYesbawl 
for milk, and whichever bawls the loudest shall be 
hisfh i^viest in the black temple. 



PIT A t>ti-!vt:> TV 



ncii 



Booth had finished his work, he cried 
" Sic Semper Tyrannis," and the lord of the lash called 
him to his bosom,' and the F. P. Y's. worshipped him. 

2. But a certain Boston Corbet punished Booth in 
the neck, and he departed for a warmer country to 
prepare another place for the mighty Tailor. 

3. Now, when the wise men of the East heard vfhat 
was done, they came to see the child that was bom by 
a dagger, and they fell down and worshipped him. 



4. And he said iinto himself, I am no longer a tai- 
lor, but I am *' some pumpkins." - 
^'."^"^t «,®^i^g t^e great multitude ids little soul 

^^^ . w??^^V^'''^ ^""^ ''P ^* ^^g^* a^^ went up into the 
great White House and opened hi^ mouth, saying- 
^ 6. Blessed is the Tailor, for he was once a ''< horse" 
m a city, and now he is President. 

7. Blessed is every man that curseth the ni^^er, for 
I was a Tailor. ^- 

^ 8 Blessed are all those who shall mourn for the poor 
Tailor, for they shall be comforted. 
^ 9. Blessed is every man that killed a nigger, for he 
IS a peacemaker and a child of the mighty Tailor. 

10. Blessed are those who do hunger and thirst af- 
ter "My Policy." for they shall be filled. 

11. Blessed are all those who shall have murdered 
loyal men, for they shall be made Mayors of cities and 
Governors of States. 

12. Blessed are the States that rebelled, for they 
shall be exalted. 

13. Cursed is every man that curseth not the nigger, 
for he shall have no civil rights, neither shall- he have 
a bureau. 

TT ^^' ^}^^^^ ^^ e^'^r/ man that fought to sustain the 
Uni3n, for they shall be turned out of office and his 
. plac^e filled with the children of the tribe of Jeffio. 

15." Cursed is every man that worshipeth not the 
Tailor, for he is now a mighty man in Israel, and the 
shadow of his close fit may be seen iu New Orleans. 

16. Yenly I say -ftuto you, Thaddeus and Sumuer 
are traitors, and Forney is a ''dead cluck," they shall 
have no office-for I am a Tailor. ' . 

17. But a certain righteous man callek Alexander 
H. Stephens is-in favor of " My Policy," and he must 
be admitted intoCongress. 

18. And furthermore, be it known unto you, that I 
have a son-in-law who was Jeffie's Judge, and he is 
now a Senator from Tennessee. 



r'>orvIO 70?- onorte'ss'X. 



I». And if he IS not admitted themigW Tailor will 
it a ak ^^^^- "" ""P ^^ nation once and.«an do 

for-My'Slleyr "°'° *^^«' ^1^«" tiouprayest praj 

anShef cloil fit! '''* "''^ ^' "°' "^P^"^^''' ^ ^''^ ^^^e 
22 Ye are begotten of " My Policy," and I had al- 
most forgotten to mention that I was a tailor. 

OHAPTEB V. 

1 Now, when Moses, the Tailor, had come down out 
of the temple, after telling his "dead duck " story the 
people gathered around him, and a certain scribe sa^d 
unto hnn, Master, I will- follow thee wherever thou o'o 

GSt. "^ 

2. And be said unto him, I go back mto Egypt, fol- 
owme,and thou shalt remain Prime i¥ini°ster ' and 
heat the "" goose " foi me. 

8. And immediately the scribe called », great concave 
and as the dog days were near at hand they caved in a 
^KT.J ^^^V^^'i^apd forged anew the chain 

1. \ % ?■'', ''"'" ^^''"^'"'■"^ *° *^° ^™rid that four 
years of fiendish warfare to destroy .the big parchment 
that made thorn better than loyal men '■-^-n-nc 

rPltb^^fl^r'*^'™°'''i^'?''^ *^^ K^'^"*' «°"'^e, if these 
Shelp'lhl^"""" *"" ^°"'^'^^^" ^""^ '""^^ ---1' - ■ 

5 And if they cannot do it peaceably, they are un- 
worthy the name of men if they do not attempt it by 

6. Now be it known to the friends of this country 
that tnere is a niighty crew ail clad in gray clothes tha 
fit nice, for their' captain is a tailor 

7. And this happy band of Loyal Traitors want the 



8 

Kejstone for Clymer and tTien they will climb the base 
of Bunker Hill and carry Gettysburg to Boston. 

8. And another one of his disciples said unto him, 
Suffer me first to go and bury my father for he was 
killed in the wilderness of '' My Policy." 

9. But Moses said unto him, Let the niggers bury 
the dead, follow '' My Policy," and we will have a good 
thing in '68. 

10. Yerily, I say unto you, the heavens and earth 
shall pass away, but " My Policy" must be President. 

11. Behold the axe is laid at the root of the tree, and 
every tree that supports not my policy shall be hewn 
down and cast into the nre, for I was a tailor. 



CHAPTER YI. 

1. Now, the people maclo a bureau, that those who 
were loyal should no^ be persecuted by traitors, but 
those who had purchased their freedom with their own ' 
blood should enjoy it. 

2. But Moses said unto them, Yv^e are going back in- 
to Egypt, and we can carry neither Cupboard nor Bu- 
reau, nothing but "My Policy." . 

3. But the people said unto him, Moses, thou art a 
dead duck, we received this Bureau from our father 
Abraham, and they placed it beside the Tabernacle of 
the Covenant, and Moses Ys^ept. i 

4. Now there were certain men ^. .,:..... .Republicans 

in the land and they invented a bill of Civil Rights 
which said a loyal man had just as good a right to s\f elir 
to the truth as a perjured traitor. _ 

5. But Moses lifted up his voice and said. This can- 
not be done, it is not My Policy. The nigger is an in- 
ferior being and I was a tailor. 

6. But two-thirds of the people said unto Moses, 
Abraham wrote in the big parchm^ent. that slavery 
should be no more, and you are a dead duck. 



7. Moses became very wrotli and opened his big 
month again, saying, 

8. Men and brethren we are going back into Egyp ' 
we are no more men at all if we snffer such oppres" 
gion ; My Policy must prevail. 

9. I will be your Moses. We will pass the Eed Sea 
and occupy that fair land which the drafted men have 
taken, called Can-I-die (Canada.) 

10. Therefore, you will gather together your tcibfer- 
nacles, your slave pens;- your auction blocks, your 
chains, your manacles, and your human chatties, and 
we will take our old Statutes, our old Constitution and 
My Policy with us, and will go where the Democracy 
went during the war, even unto Can-I-die. 

11. ISTow brethren,. be of good cheer, Breckinridge 
is there. Slidell and Mason are there. Davis shall 
go with us. Yallandigham shall go before for he 
knows the road ; we will take the bones of Booth 
with us, and Clynier shall go with Moses and learn the 
tailor business. 

12. And Yv'hen Vv^e shall have taken possession of the 
Territorfes of the Kew Dispensation, I will divide the 
country into twelve tribes of ^ Traitors, that have 
fought under My Policy. 

13. YaHaudigham shall have a kingdom and Cljane^' 
shall Itave a kingdom, Alexander H. Stephens shaU 
have a kingdom, Orr shall have a kingdom, and Sew- 
ard shall have a kingdom, but Doolittle shall have no 
kingdom for he has done but little. 

14' Nevertheless, every man that killeth a nigger 
shall have a kingdom, and every man that can shoAV a 
commission under Davis or Lee, shall have an office, 
for I am thy Moses that taketh thee out of the land of 
Bureaus and Civil Eights into the plagues of- Egypt 
nd the house of bondao-e. 

o 



10 

CHAPTER YII. 

1. Now there was a certain thing called Glimer, and 
he had been climbing for many years to get to be tall 
among traitors. 

2. Yallandigham said Climer had a dispute as to 
which should be greatest in the kingdom of Jeffie. 

3. And Jeffie said-unto them, shame! Why quar- 
rel in such a large country? 

4. Let Yallandigham go into the West and Climer 
into th3 East, and I v/ill make you both rulers. 

5. And the people heard the evil words of Jeffie, 
and they threw Yallandigham one hundted thousand 
miles into utter darkness. 

6. And Moses s})oke unto Yallandigham in a sor- 
rowful tone, saying, "Remain in the wilderness until 
October, -for lam coming.'! 

7. And when thou shall hear the voice of a mighty 
tailor in the wilderness, crying, " dead duck," then 
thou shalt know that we journey for antither country 
and thou shalt go before. 

8. Audit came to pass in those days there was a 
great rebellion, r,nd Clymcr and Yallandigham strove 
to se^e which could do the most for the dirty rag with 
one star. , . . ' " • ■ ■ 

9. And Yallandigham was a. mighty iiKin ana he 
worked in the lead, and as they p idled together Moses 
struck Climer, to make him pull the harder. 

10. And it came to pass, that as he pulled he tore 
his close fit and his naked , treason cursed carcass 
became a great stench in the land. 

11. And waking up from their slumbers and seein'g 
they were naked, they said mito each other, let us do 
as Jeffie did ; put on iMiy coats ^ and perhaps Ave can 
hide., 

12. But the people said unto Climer, the fee of that 
hundred thousand that carried Yallandham out, are at 



11 

the door and shall soon carry thee out unto a foreign 

land where Moses can repair the close fit, for he is a 
Tailor. 

CHAPTER YIII. 

1. And it came to pass a/S the children of Israel 
journeyed in the wilderness they came into a great 
city called New Orleans, and the Butternuts stood at 
the corners of the streets with arrows in their hands, 
and Moses stood afar off and watched them murder his 
people. 

2. And when the last one was driven out of tho 
eity, Moses laughed like a Tailor. 

8. And spake unto the murderers with wings of 
lightning saying do it more^ Aaron's rod shall comfort 
you. 

4. But the people when they saw Moses was bound 
for Egypt called him to judgment. 

5. And in the curiosities of Uncle Sam's house, 
there was a striped coat of female attire. 

6. Now this was the same in which Davis hid from 
the sight of Uncle Sam's men. 

7. And the people placed this garment upon Mosea^ 
even as the Lord had commanded, and they found it 
was an exceedingly close fit. 

8. In so much that Moses exclaimed, my punish- 
ment is greater than I can bear. Is it possible that I 
•was born of the same mother, or begotten of the same 
father, for behold! this garment doth fit like a "dead 
duck." 

8. Now this is the gospel of the New Dispensation- 
Hearken unto the voice of the lord of the lash, and 
may peace be with all who dwell in Canada. A little 
while and I will be with you all. Amen, — For I am a 
Tailor, 



IVQli 



JlO);,;if o"fO '?•>-:;» 



'KJ^ Ihiv 



'Tri T- 



HAIIAD IPO«« PAID i LiBRHRT-UF-X.Ui^i;RE>b 




BHl^BBD AOOOBDiyO TO ACT QK OOVQBM*, 




013 785 701 7^ 



